When You Drift From the Assignment: Realignment and Releasing the Weight
In my last post, I shared a truth that has become a cornerstone of how I approach both life and business: the difference between being capable and being called. It’s a distinction that changes everything once you really sit with it. Just because you have the skills to do something, just because you’re “good” at it, doesn’t mean you were assigned to it in this season.
If you missed that conversation, you can catch up on the foundation here.
But there is another challenge that shows up after you accept that calling. It’s the subtle, quiet shift that happens when you are already in the thick of the work. Even when you are crystal clear about what you are called to do, it is still possible to drift from the assignment.
When I Was Ready to Quit
Have you ever just felt like giving up? Not too long ago I was so ready to just throw in the towel.
It’s an interesting feeling because, on one hand, things were “good”. The business survived Covid, the checks were coming in, the team was growing and the clients were all happy. But on the inside, something felt “heavy.” I wasn’t just tired; I was frustrated and fatigued in a way that sleep couldn’t fix. I felt like the goalpost was constantly moving and just impossible to reach.
I wasn’t ready to quit because the work itself was too hard. I’ve never been afraid of hard work. I was ready to quit because the responsibility of moving the needle started to feel overwhelming. I felt like I was carrying the weight of the entire organization’s success on my shoulders, and it was crushing the joy out of the work I once loved.
Thank God for my pastor, who had just taught a series called “Staying the Course.” That series encourage me not to just throw in the towel. It taught me to pause, remember my “why” and ask for clarity. It also reminded me that sometimes you need to ask for help and seek support.
So that’s what I did. I paused for a conversation that I thought was going to be more encouraging words about how to endure and stay the course, but it turned into something much deeper.
The Question That Made Me Pause
During our conversation, my pastor paused and asked a question. It’s a habit of his; asking things he already knows the answer to. He doesn’t do it to test me; he does it to give me space to hear my own thoughts and somehow, when the words leave my mouth, the real issue becomes impossible to ignore.
It’s intentional on his part, and at this point I can see it coming, but I’ve grown to appreciate it. His questions gently shift the responsibility back to me, inviting me to slow down, listen to myself, and recognize where I’m missing clarity or sometimes, where I’ve drifted from obedience.
The question he asked was this: “Were you asked to do all the things you’re frustrated about, or were you just asked to build the systems?”
I began to ramble because I wanted to give the “professional” answer. I wanted to talk about the scope of work and what was required for me to move things forward for this client, but in the rambling, I heard it for myself. The lack of clarity and confusion was evident because while I was attempting to answer his question, I had another question that needed to be answered first. I had to stop and identify who did the asking.
Of course, there was a client. A real organization had contacted me and hired Out of the Box Remedies to do the work. But that question prompted me to go back to the beginning. See, long before there was a client, there was an assignment. There were instructions given for how to approach this work and how to steward my gifts.
Picking Up What Wasn't Yours
In that moment, I realized something that changed everything: My frustration wasn’t coming from the assignment. My frustration was coming from trying to take ownership of things and people I had never been assigned to.
If this situation were a car, my role would be the engineer: the one who designs the vehicle, ensures it functions, and builds the systems that make it run. But somewhere along the way, I had allowed myself to become the driver, the road crew, and even the one managing the passengers’ emotions. I had drifted from my specific assignment, creating the systems and operational structure that help an organization thrive, and started carrying the emotional and functional weight of the entire vision.
When you care about people and you care about positive outcomes, it’s very easy to slowly expand your responsibility beyond the assignment. What begins as an act of servant leadership can turn into trying to catch all the dropping balls. Before long, you find yourself carrying weight that was never yours to carry in the first place.
Within 24 hours of that conversation with my pastor, I had clarity. And more importantly, I responded by putting the weight down.
The Question I Come Back To
That moment left me with a question I return to often, and it sparked a habit of asking three simple questions; especially when the work starts to feel like a grind rather than a rhythm of grace. It’s really a matter of stewardship and staying committed to the original vision.
When the work begins to feel heavier than it should, I pause and ask myself:
“Was this actually assigned to me, or did I just assume the responsibility?”
From there, I move through three grounding questions:
- Was I asked to do this?
- Who asked me to do this?
- Does this align with the instructions I was given when I stepped into this work?
And once I walk through those, the more specific questions usually surface:
Was I asked to repair the relationships on this team?
Was I asked to design the structure and strategy that supports healthier dynamics?
Is this the moment where my part is complete and leadership must carry it forward?
Sometimes the path back to peace and fidelity in the work isn’t doing more, its often putting something down. It’s recognizing that you can be highly capable of fixing a problem, but if you weren’t assigned to it, your “help” might actually be a hindrance to your own peace and the others growth because just because you are capable doesn’t mean you are called to it!
Returning to the RIGHT rhythm
Drifting doesn’t usually happen all at once. It’s a slow move away from the center. You take on one extra “small” task. You agree to “just handle” one thing out of scope. You start worrying about a metric that isn’t in your control. And suddenly, you are miles away from the peace you had when you first said “yes” to the call. Now, we all know that sometimes even the work you are called to do gets heavy, but what I am confident of is that when I am in alignment with my assignment, there is help for my heavy load. It is not the same when you are outside of alignment and that is why the weight is so very heavy.
If you are feeling that “heaviness” today, I want to invite you to do what I did. Pause, seek clarity and ask yourself: What am I carrying right now that I wasn’t asked to pick up? Have I stepped outside of the things I was called to do and the people I was assigned to impact?Then identify who did the asking. Was it the pressure or social media? Was it a client’s unrealistic expectation that wasn’t addressed? Was it just your natural inclination to catch all the falling balls? Or was it your own desire to be the “hero” of the situation?
When you recognize what you’ve picked up along the way and take an honest look at why you picked it up. If you realize it pulled you out of alignment, give yourself permission to set it back down. And as you do, refuse the lie that releasing something means you’ve failed or that you’re shrinking. Sometimes putting “it” down is the most faithful, disciplined, and wise thing you can do. You are actually becoming more impactful in the area where you are actually assigned. Choosing the path that you were meant to travel gives way for grace and peace which then allows you to build with intention.
looking ahead
In the next post, I want to talk about what happens after that realization. Once you recognize that you’ve drifted from the assignment, how do you narrow your focus again without feeling like you’re shrinking your impact?
Because for purpose-driven leaders, narrowing isn’t about doing less in a negative sense. It’s about strengthening what you were actually called to build. It’s about moving from the clutter of “too much” to the clarity of “just enough.”
If you know a leader who’s carrying more than their assignment requires, share this with them and encourage them to release what isn’t theirs to hold.
Grace and Peace,
Felicia Hairston Momon
Owner, Out of the Box Remedies
